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07
May
2009
Bitch Tits Unsure About Friday Return PDF  | Print |  E-mail
Woman's Lip
Written by Sooze   

Will Bitch Tits return tomorrow?Alex Rodriguez, who up until today was planning on returning to the New York Yankees lineup this Friday against the Baltimore Orioles, is now unsure of when exactly he'll make the month-and-a-half he's sat on my and your disabled lists worth the wait.  There are conflicting reports all over the internet, some -- manager Joe Girardi included -- saying he'll be back this Friday, while others say it's not written in stone.

Rodriguez slid for the first time on Wednesday since his March 9th hip surgery, going 1-for-5 with a walk in an extended spring training game.  He singled up the middle as a designated hitter and slid into second on an infield grounder after taking a walk in the third inning.  He's also hit a couple bombs in the process.  All good signs.

It looks like the only thing that's still bruised is his ego.

As I'm sure you're all aware, Bitch Tits has caused quite the stir as the subject of Sports Illustrated writer Selena Roberts' tell-all biography which she cleverly titled "A-Rod: The Many Lives of Alex Rodriguez".  Whether or not he is [allegedly] guilty of abusing steroids since high school, cheating on his wife with Madonna of all people, and tipping opposing batters to upcoming pitches, he's still a hell of a hitter.

Frankly, he's sort of holding up the show with a couple of my fantasy teams.

The team's main concern is whether or not they'll get the offensive production from A-Rod they need to compete in the tough American League East, what with the already huge gaps in their batting order, created by the absence of players such as Jorge Posada.  And the sucky presence of players such as Nick Swisher, who's batting just .179 over his past 10 games, phenomenal pitching skills aside.  There is also some worry about the health of Bitch Tits' hip, which will ultimately need to be operated on again after this season.

I'd to thank A-Rod for becoming the second professional athlete to come to mind when anyone mentions man-boobs. Phil Mickelson would be the other.  Anyone who has a problem with me calling Phil an athlete is welcome to play a round of golf with me.

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written by suzannesolheim, May 10, 2009
And A-Rod gives us a three-run shot on the first pitch he sees.
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written by Wayne Provost, May 08, 2009
...always enjoy the pennings of Salty Sooze...

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