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Woman's Lip
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Written by Sooze
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Friday, 05 March 2010 14:16 |
Some people might say fantasy baseball is for nerds. Boy are they ever wrong. Fantasy baseball is a game of skill, risk, and, of course, chance: the chance that half the guys you draft end up on the disabled list by May. That's always awesome.
In an effort to help you dominate your fantasy baseball draft, I've compiled a short but effective list of ways to assist you in doing so.
Get your pals bombed. If you like to kick it old school and have your fantasy draft in real life and not in an online chat, you should start by ordering a round of shots. Make that two rounds of shots. Just after everyone cheers to a new fantasy season and downs their tasty liquor beverage, toss yours over your shoulder. Continue to do this throughout the draft and you will find yourself more alert and savvy that your buddies.
Make up crazy news. Think of a player you'd really like to have on your team. Maybe you have a special need for Vicente Padilla, for instance. Before anyone else takes him first, announce to the other parties that you just read he has been stricken with [insert injury here] and won't be back until at least [insert month here.] Then immediately draft him with a fist pump and a "SYKE!"
Get into their heads. This one can be easily accomplished in either a real or virtual draft setting. Produce an inappropriate yet realistic photo of you and one of your fantasy adversaries' wives or girlfriends using the wonders of photoshop. How could anyone concentrate after they've just seen you groping their significant other?
Create a distraction. Yodeling, mocking, animal noises, smack-talking, NSFW link-posting, blatent, embarrassing lies: these are all excellent ways to distract your fantasy foes. Try using one of these methods just before he or she is about to make their pick. You'll be pleased with the results.
All kidding aside, the best way to get ready for your draft and dominate your buddies this season is to stay right here with the experts at Fantasy Pros 911 for all your fantasy baseball needs. |
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Woman's Lip
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Written by Sooze
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Sunday, 21 February 2010 00:00 |
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It seems the New York Mets won't have to rely on Henry Blanco to start behind the plate this season, after all.
Rod Barajas and the team have reached an agreement on a one-year, $1 million deal, complete with $1 million worth of piece-of-cake incentives. This is a temporary fix, but it'll help give Omir Santos and (especially) Josh Thole some extra seasoning.
This signing is pretty good news for the Toronto Blue Jays as well, as they will receive a supplemental draft choice between the first and second rounds since Barajas was a Type B free agent. Had he taken either minor league proposal from the Mets or Texas Rangers, the Jays would've gotten jack.
Everybody wins! Well, maybe not the Mets, who grab just what they need, another terrible catcher. Count em': that's four on the 40-man roster.
Barajas hit 19 homers and 71 RBIs over 460 plate appearances with Toronto last year. Unfortunately, his average panned out to just .226 with a pretty crappy .258 on-base percentage. Maybe a change of scenery will ignite a fire under his veteran rear?
Either way, the likelihood of Barajas being any better of a fantasy catcher than Blanco is pretty low.
Speaking of the Mets, former first baseman Carlos Delgado underwent a second hip surgery this week. This prolongs his comeback to at least four months from now, but his agent claims he still plans on playing this season.
The 37-year-old veteran played in just 25 games last season before having season-ending hip surgery. In 2008, he batted .271 and nailed 38 bombs with 115 RBIs for New York, and is now just 27 longballs shy of joining the elite 500 Home Run Club. We have to think he will do whatever it takes to get those 27 homers.
By the time Delgado is healthy enough to play, he should be a decent mid-season addition to any roster looking for a power-hitting corner man. |
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Woman's Lip
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Written by Sooze
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Saturday, 13 February 2010 00:00 |
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It was a close call, but the San Francisco Giants and Tim Lincecum have reached a preliminary agreement on a $23 million, two-year contract. This is pretty great news for Timmy, but even better news for fantasy owners since the righty phenom can finally concentrate on his skills to pay the bills, rather than how he's going to pay for all that sweet ganja the bills.
Avoiding an embarrassing arbitration hearing which was set for Friday afternoon, the Giants have given their 25-year-old hurler what he deserved: a Giant raise from the measly $650,000 he made last season.
In addition to his $2 million signing bonus, Lincecum will earn $8 million this year and $13 million in 2011 with a shot at performance and award bonuses. If anyone is going to kick ass on the mound in 2010, it's The Freak.
Looking for a strikeout pitcher with a miniscule ERA and a decent number of victories? He's your man. The two-time Cy Young award winner owns a career 40-17 record and 2.90 ERA with an incredible 676 Ks in just three big league seasons. After winning 18 games for the Giants in 2008, he won 15 last season, fanning a league-leading 261 batters. He also enjoyed four complete games and two shutouts.
Strangely enough, Lincecum's average velocity dropped 2 mph from 2008-2009, but it didn't make that big of difference in his performace. Sure, he struck out four fewer batters than the year before, but he walked 16 less for an already-low total of 68. He pitched in one less game last season, resulting in roughly 25 fewer innings, but his ERA dropped .014 points and he didn't surrender as many hits, runs or homers.
In short, he is a total badass and you should not think twice about drafting him as your first hurler, even in the first or second round. Lincecum is young, healthy, and talented, and will not disappoint.
Besides, it's not like pot is a performance-enhancing drug. |
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Woman's Lip
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Written by Sooze
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Monday, 01 February 2010 14:07 |
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The Cincinnati Reds have traded Willy Taveras along with infielder Adam Rosales to the Oakland Athletics for infielder Aaron Miles and some other guy they'll decide on in the near future. |
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Woman's Lip
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Written by Sooze
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Wednesday, 29 July 2009 09:23 |
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Randy Johnson is one of those guys with a voice so booming that when he tells a joke, it rarely gets more than a courtesy chuckle. However, Tuesday night he managed to make a funny regarding his recent accident at the plate.
"Obviously the first thing I thought is that I won’t be able to do my instructional hitting video," he joked.
zing!
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Woman's Lip
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Written by Sooze
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Thursday, 20 August 2009 00:00 |
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John Smoltz isn't quite ready to hang up his cleats. Apparently, the St. Louis Cardinals don't believe he is, either.
The NL Central leaders signed the 42-year-old former ace on Wednesday, shortly after he was dismissed by the Boston Red Sox with a 2-5 record and 8.33 ERA over eight starts. The Cardinals are hoping Smoltz can fill the void as the fifth starter or maybe even move to the bullpen for some right-handed relief.
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Woman's Lip
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Written by Sooze
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Thursday, 06 August 2009 11:20 |
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When the Arizona Diamondbacks ditched Felipe Lopez last month, the census was that they'd be searching for a second baseman for quite a while. Think again.
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Woman's Lip
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Written by Sooze
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Wednesday, 15 July 2009 11:13 |
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Pedro Martinez's cock-fighting days are over. He's finally returning to the majors... well, eventually.
The three-time Cy Young Award winner agreed to a one-year contract with the Philadelphia Phillies Wednesday worth $1 million, with incentives that could reach $1.5 million. Aaaaaand he's already hurt. The team has placed him directly on the 15-day disabled list with a mild shoulder strain, with no word on a rehab assignment as of yet.
The 37-year-old right-hander went 5-6 with a 5.61 ERA for the New York Mets last season, a year after recording his 3,000th career strikeout. While pitching for the Dominican Republic in this year's World Baseball Classic, he worked six scoreless innings, striking out six and walking none. Pedro is 214-99 lifetime with a 2.91 ERA in 17 big league seasons between the Los Angeles Dodgers, Montreal Expos, Boston Red Sox and Mets. Not bad.
And apparently, he can still throw the ball in the lower-90s. That I'm going to need to see to believe. I'll give him 87 mph at best, which is where his velocity was at last season.
"I might surprise you, I might not," Pedro told the press. "It’s going to be really fun to go find out."
The defending World Series champs' starting rotation has been troubled a bit by injuries this season, with #2 starter Brett Myers undergoing hip surgery last month before his replacement, Antonio Bastardo, landed on the DL after just five starts. In fact, Philly has already used nine different starters up to the All-Star break.
This is a pretty sweet deal for the Phillies, since they're getting a Hall-of-Fame-bound hurler for just a million bucks. He'll fill some seats and maybe even give the club a few extra wins for padding. They currently sit four games ahead of the Florida Marlins in the National League East and are possibly looking for a replacement for struggling, aging lefty Jamie Moyer, who pretty much sucks this season.
Half-assed fantasy advice: If you're in an NL-only league, I guess Pedro could be worth adding to your roster. As previously mentioned, he's definitely going to spend some time in the minors before pitching in the big leagues again, so if you need pitching now, he's not your answer. Look for a decent wins total with the stacked Phils lineup behind him, but no more than five or six innings per start these days.
Welcome back, Pedro! |
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Woman's Lip
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Written by Sooze
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Thursday, 02 July 2009 11:04 |
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All you folks who have been hanging on for dear life to Manny Ramirez, waiting patiently for his return to your fantasy roster while the rest of your outfield pretty much sucked? You can breathe easy once again.
Those 50 games he was forced to sit out after testing positive for stupidity are finally over, as he'll be back in the Los Angeles Dodgers lineup Friday against Chad Gaudin and the San Diego Padres. Manny is batting a career .455 (5-for-11) against the right-hander, with two homers, three RBI and 2 walks. Not bad.
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Woman's Lip
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Written by Sooze
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Friday, 10 July 2009 00:36 |
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Toronto Blue Jays third baseman Scott Rolen has hit safely in a career-high 25 straight games. I'm pretty impressed by this feat. However, the last time I went nuts over a player's hitting streak, I totally jinxed them.
This is me apologizing in advance, Canadians.
Over this current course of awesomeness, Rolen is batting .390 (41-for-105). Even more out-of-the-ordinary is that the 34-year-old hot corner is hitting .330 on the season, scoring 45 runs. He's no monster hitter, nailing only 6 homers and 34 RBI on the season, but he gets on base, and lately, he's done it often.
Now, the major league record for most consecutive games with a hit is held by the almighty Joe DiMaggio. He set the bar in 1941, and few players have even come close. In fact, Paul Molitor was the most recent American Leaguer to challenge Joltin' Joe's record, hitting in 39 straight games back in 1987 with the Milwaukee Brewers. However, Pete Rose inched even closer back in 1978 with the Cincinnati Reds, when his streak reached 44 games: one game behind the National League record, set by Willie Keeler in 1897.
This season's longest hitting streak belongs to Ryan Zimmerman, one of only a couple bright spots on the Washington Nationals struggling roster. His tear came to a screeching halt when I live-blogged the action for Walkoff Walk. Apparently there's some sort of jinx going on over there, too.
The Jays' club record, set by Shawn Green in 1999, is 28 consecutive games with a hit. The Jays will head to Camden Yards to face the Baltimore Orioles this weekend for a three-game series, where Rolen will get a chance to tie it up. He'll face right-hander Jason Berken first, who he is a career 0-for-2 against. Lucky for Rolen, Berken sucks (1-5, 6.25 ERA). Brad Bergeson is next, followed by Jeremy Guthrie, who he also has a hard time with, spotting a 2-for-15 mark against the righty.
This is just an all-around bad time to be in the midst of a hitting streak, though. If Rolen does make it through the weekend against the O's, he'll have the entire All-Star break -- four long days of fun which he will not be participating in -- to cool off until they face the Boston Red Sox at home next Friday.
Good luck, buddy.
Update: Oops. |
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